Tips for health and happiness as we grow old

Author Archive

41. Freedom and the Phone Box

05/08/18

From what? From the phone box we live in. However…

Freedom is not free. It depends on something. Freedom is the slave of circumstances and cultures.

However, because of its changeable and unfathomable essence, freedom is as free as life, truth and love are.

Its definition can only be a transitory exercise determined by the circumstances of the definer and the space and time where and when the definer cares to take the trouble to define it.

The mere act of defining it, is an incarceration within the boundaries of the language in use and all the real and perceived limitations attached to it.

We are determined by genes, our parents choices, the place we live in, our culture. Perhaps, we can catch freedom’s rainbow’s tail by attempting to break free from our hang ups, fears and, particularly our perceived limitations.

In our endeavours, we might as well do our best to break free from constricting social structures, unjust governments and the safe but narrow phone box we choose to live in when we believe we have no choice.

For more reading on freedom, my novel The Secret Life of a God is about breaking free from our apparently determined existence: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Thermodynamics-Love-Secret-Life-God-ebook/dp/B00T1P9P3S/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1533581167&sr=8-4&keywords=The+Thermodynamics+of+Love


40. Mindfulness and the Love Sparkle, AKA Superconductive Love

AKA, so far, only to me, Superconductive Love is a concept I explored, developed and exfoliated theoretically for public exposure, first in my Novel trilogy, The Thermodynamics of Love; (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Kindle-Store-P-E-Cuberos/s?ie=UTF8&page=1&rh=n%3A341677031%2Cp_27%3AP.%20E.%20Cuberos) then in my fourteen year long relationship with whom I call my Superconductive partner.

Watching the programme “Hello Stranger” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1SkfQJPWpklast)  weekend, in which a couple seek to rekindle the spark between them through amnesia inducing hypnosis, made me realize that the basis of certain mindfulness practices, Superconductive Love, and amnesia can be narrowed down to the same principle.

I want to clarify that as an unrepentant dabbler, I am not an expert in either Mindfulness or Physics. However, the little I know about both, has helped to keep the sparkles going or re-happening throughout the years, in love, and in life in general.

Mindfulness encourages the mind and body to live, profoundly, fearlessly and as new, every moment of our lives.

Superconductivity requires an absence of resistance from the systems involved.

Imagine if at each moment of your life together, or often enough, you manage to face, observe and respond to your partner as if they were a new person, without resistance of resentment for past real or imaginary wrongs, fear about your future alone or together or prejudices created by time and the wearing out of daility.

Imagine, if every time or, often enough, when you touch, kiss, make love to your partner, you enjoy the temporary amnesia that mindfulness provides. Every time, love can be new and full of sparkles.

How to do it? In my experience, by focusing on the body’s experience with honesty and openness, the thinking/judging machine is forced to stop and the experience becomes fresh, new and very sparkly.

Obviously I don’t manage it all the time; however what mindfulness also teaches us, is to accept things, ourselves, our flaws or challenges and the different stages in our relationships, as they are. After all, those and everything else, exist only at that moment in time. My partner and I don’t write poems to each other nowadays more than a few times a year, and we have less sex than at the beginning. However, I wouldn’t trade for a second, the comfort, safety, simplicity and ease of our current relationship for any number of the butterflies we enjoyed and mostly suffered over the first few years. He is like my favourite sleepers and blanket; yet he is also fun and sunshine and still the sexiest man for me.

I don’t know what are my partner’s tricks; but we keep smiling and laughing a lot of the time. We must be gilded!


39. Identity and Identification

I’m back!

39. Identity and Identification

Do bees, ants and termites have identity or is there a mass identification?

My Colombian identity card and passaporte, estate that I’m a female, born the 8 of Feb 1958 (an error I didn’t realize at the time and now I don’t want to risk getting lost in the tangles of burocracy).
My British Passport and Driving Licence agree regarding my gender, but according to them, I was born the 8th of february 1953.
Both wrong. In reality, I was born the 2nd of February 1953.

Do, place of birth, date, age and gender based only on anatomical parts, make me who I am?
Do the place I live, my beliefs, my feelings determine any aspect of my identity?
And, what determines my humanity?

Society and culture have condemned us to the live in the narrow pigeon holes of a few basic markers that help to identify us as unique or different from others. However, during our youth and middle age, we do suffer in our desperate attempts to identify with others in order to be accepted.

I was lucky to be rejected so much and so often, that for many many years, the only acceptance I have needed is my own, and the only thing for which I need my passport is to roam the world. I am blessed with many people around me who seem to like me in spite of my weirdness. Some even seem to love me. I do love them back.

I do hope all those who read me, have found their self-acceptance, approval and much love.

 

 

 

 

 


38. My personal Atonement

05/02/106

I’ve done many condemnable things in the past. I was deeply self-centred and selfish. I was thoughtless, careless and ruthless. I made many people suffer from my actions and perhaps with my thoughts.

I spent many years punishing myself, consciously and unconsciously. I made myself suffer, probably more that I had made anyone else suffer before.

One day, helped by many wise masters that I had the instinctive wisdom of surrounding myself with, I realized that, paraphrasing Robert Holden, http://www.robertholden.org/
It is because the world is so full of suffering

that my happiness is a daily duty.

It is because the world is so unfriendly that my smile and as much kindness as I can muster, are a duty.

It is because the world is so full of war

that my peace of mind is a gift

It is because the world is in such despair

that my hope and optimism are a duty to my children and all my fellow human beings.
That is my daily atonement.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/P.-E.-Cuberos/e/B00UNCGYFA

 


37. Atonement, post No. 1

05/02/2016

Atonement

  • The action of making amends for a wrong or injury.
  • (in religious contexts) reparation or expiation for sin.

Those are the two basic definitions I got from the internet. I can’t see anywhere that they have to imply, condemnation, penalty, death, pain.

As an ex-catholic, it always amazes me our society’s difficulty with forgiveness. And, in my view, true forgiveness is forgetfulness (another of the benefits of old age), not of the facts, but of the offense.

However, more than often I encounter as Eva Kor, forgiver of the Nazi’s has found, that people rather stay stuck in their bitterness, their pain and they rather see someone else suffer than forgiving and forgetting. And God, how they grow old, like cheap wine, acidic and mouldy. http://www.candlesholocaustmuseum.org/about/eva-kor.htm

But I ask a simple question: what is the point of justice if it becomes a mean of revenge? Will it change the past? In which way will it change the future? For the better? I doubt it.

 

Sophocles said in his tragedies that violence engenders violence. Peace engenders peace.

 

I understand that people who have suffered at the hands of others, want to see justice. But is this a Christian feeling? Isn’t this, the ancient and barbaric Lex talionis or the Law of Talion, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth?

 

Aren’t we supposed to be civilized?

 

Yes, by all means let justice be done, and people who have done wrong should be made to realize and atone for what they have done, but in a way that is positive for society. In a way in which the punishment makes a positive difference.

 

Another post next, about my personal view on forms of atonement.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/P.-E.-Cuberos/e/B00UNCGYFA

 

 

 


36. I Should(‘nt) be Ashamed of Myself

05/02/2016

I believe I am not unique in having been ashamed of myself a great part of my life.

And what a waste of time is was! Thank God, for me, it is in the past.

I just wish anyone out there who is still ashamed of who they are, or done, or, even worse, those who are ashamed of sharing their accomplishments, their joys, their hopes, their dreams, even if they will eventually, end in the bin, stop being ashamed.

Start being shameless! I already am.


35. Are we Robots?

Most of us will rush to answer, “NO!”

I have been watching the drama, Humans, on TV. One of the androids says, “I am programmed to feel pain.”

I think, in many ways we have been programmed also by our parents, society, education and upbringing, to behave, respond and react, in ways that often cause us pain.

The reasons might appear valid: for some, karma; for some bad luck; for some, age and the decline in looks and health it represents. Sometimes there is nothing we can do but be patient and endure.

In my personal experience, very often all we need is the determination to let go of people, or resolve situations; change attitudes and find the right cure, remedy or palliative even for physical problems.

Simply, to love and accept ourselves with all our quirks and flaws, can work as the best remedy for most challenges we have to face.

I have spent a lifetime un-programming myself from painful childhood and youth experiences and learning to love myself. I seem to be doing a pretty good job since I do enjoy my life and my circumstances.

I hope freedom of choice, will always allow us to qualify as humans.


34. Best Recipe for Growing Old the Right Way Up

Arthur: “What is the best thing for being sad?”

Merlin: “To learn something.”

From 1967 script for Camelot’s Film by Allan Jay Lerner based on T. H. White’s “The Once and Future King”.

In my opinion and experience, also the best thing for growing old the right way up!


33. The Unfitting Frame of Perfection

06/06/2015  33.

Perfection is unfitting for many reasons

First of all, it can make us feel as we are not fit for purpose; as if there is something wrong with us.

Secondly, Perfection, like all frames, seems to be narrow, square and probably flat while we seem to be full of round bits, irregularities and interesting, individual angles. We are proverbial round pegs, trying to fit the square hole of perfection.

However, Perfection has its uses. It serves us as a compass; it is our Lodestar; it gives us direction in life and keeps us motivated.

I suppose, it all depends on how and when we make use of it. We probably can mould it to fit our needs. I think we have to make sure we keep it safe in a secret cupboard, and we handle it with care when we need it. If we get obsessed with it and try to use it constantly to measure the imperfections within and around us, we might end up damaging the beautiful angles and little flaws and flops that make us individual and special.

So, let’s try not to fit in it. Let’s just look at it, get inspired, aspire and perspire. We might catch a glimpse of the Perfection of the process.


17. Destiny or Choice?

patrissiacuberos

How to Grow Old the Right Way Up

Saturday 3rd May 2014

 

17. Destiny or Choice?

Will I be happy?

Will I be rich?

Will I find love?

Those questions and many more complex ones have pressed the human mind since the dawn of time.

Our ancestors looked at the stars, convinced that if those twinkling eyes could guide them through the perils of a sea voyage, they must also hold answers to guide them through the hazards of life.

They created all manner of divination systems and tried to read the signs of anything and everything that fell into their hands.

But hang on! Hands! Soon enough, they realized that hands had those very peculiar lines, which resembled a map: a personal one, to explore and perhaps to explain the mystery of their lives.

My precocious wonderings started when I was about eight years old, together with an…

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