Tips for health and happiness as we grow old

The Thermodynamics of Love

40. Mindfulness and the Love Sparkle, AKA Superconductive Love

AKA, so far, only to me, Superconductive Love is a concept I explored, developed and exfoliated theoretically for public exposure, first in my Novel trilogy, The Thermodynamics of Love; ( then in my fourteen year long relationship with whom I call my Superconductive partner.

Watching the programme “Hello Stranger” (  weekend, in which a couple seek to rekindle the spark between them through amnesia inducing hypnosis, made me realize that the basis of certain mindfulness practices, Superconductive Love, and amnesia can be narrowed down to the same principle.

I want to clarify that as an unrepentant dabbler, I am not an expert in either Mindfulness or Physics. However, the little I know about both, has helped to keep the sparkles going or re-happening throughout the years, in love, and in life in general.

Mindfulness encourages the mind and body to live, profoundly, fearlessly and as new, every moment of our lives.

Superconductivity requires an absence of resistance from the systems involved.

Imagine if at each moment of your life together, or often enough, you manage to face, observe and respond to your partner as if they were a new person, without resistance of resentment for past real or imaginary wrongs, fear about your future alone or together or prejudices created by time and the wearing out of daility.

Imagine, if every time or, often enough, when you touch, kiss, make love to your partner, you enjoy the temporary amnesia that mindfulness provides. Every time, love can be new and full of sparkles.

How to do it? In my experience, by focusing on the body’s experience with honesty and openness, the thinking/judging machine is forced to stop and the experience becomes fresh, new and very sparkly.

Obviously I don’t manage it all the time; however what mindfulness also teaches us, is to accept things, ourselves, our flaws or challenges and the different stages in our relationships, as they are. After all, those and everything else, exist only at that moment in time. My partner and I don’t write poems to each other nowadays more than a few times a year, and we have less sex than at the beginning. However, I wouldn’t trade for a second, the comfort, safety, simplicity and ease of our current relationship for any number of the butterflies we enjoyed and mostly suffered over the first few years. He is like my favourite sleepers and blanket; yet he is also fun and sunshine and still the sexiest man for me.

I don’t know what are my partner’s tricks; but we keep smiling and laughing a lot of the time. We must be gilded!

28. Something to look forward to…

Yes… we all need that. I discovered it while sinking into the emptiness of depression of a life, that seemed to me at the time, a complete failure.

My love life was, to all appearances, fine. In spite of a hand to mouth existence, I had a nice husband and two gorgeous children

I had always thought and dreamed that poverty was not an obstacle if, paraphrasing the Catalan songwriter Joan Manuel Serrat,  “…the horizon is light and the path, a kiss..” (Si el horizonte es luz y el rumbo un beso).

But, those like me, who have been squeezed nearly to death by the paws and claws of poverty, know that that is only a dream. A loving kiss with at least some food in your belly, a roof over your head, and the certainty of being able to survive is very different to the daily gripping anxiety for your children and partner and yourself, when all doors seem closed and there is no paternalistic state to help you cover, even the minimum of your needs and health care. We are so lucky in this country, that American writer Patrick Harrington in his very interesting book, When Science meets Religion, describes it as nearly an Utopian paradise… Sadly many people don’t know what they have until they lose it!

I am digressing heavily! All I wanted to say is that in those very dark moments, I created the goal of becoming a writer in my old age, and a grandmother. That has kept me going through all the difficulties and anxieties of failure and solitude and, it is indeed my most permanent and unshakeable reason for constant joy.

Today, I have given birth to the first child of my brain, Book I of The Thermodynamics of Love Trilogy, The Secret Life of a God. If all goes well, it will be on the Amazon Shelves tomorrow, in time for my birthday. Its age is debatable though. If I count from the moment of gestation, I have given birth to a teen-ager. It celebrated its 15th birthday this past January!

Happy reading of it or of anything else you enjoy reading and… keep your goal alive even if each one takes you 15 years to accomplish!